Exploring the horny and heartfelt world of VRChat

I enter a cosy apartment and am greeted by someone dressed as Ronald McDonald. They point to themselves and then to me, before gesturing to their butt and starting to vigorously hump the air in front of them.

Finally they grab a pen and write “fuck me” in the middle of the space.

It might sound like I’m describing a fever dream, but this is just one of many bizarre encounters I had in my dozens of hours exploring VRChat - the world’s biggest virtual reality chat room.

Another user writes me a loving message. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

VRChat was released in 2015 and has since accrued millions of players. At any time, there are tens of thousands of people online.

It is made up of millions of different user-created social spaces called worlds, and it has everything from pool halls, to snug cottages, and surreal art spaces.

This world is called The Nordic Lakehouse. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

In recent years, the platform has experienced a surge of popularity after Covid-19 lockdowns pushed people to find new ways of staying social.

I’m a big ol’ nerd who has a VR headset to play games. But this strange social space was too intimidating for even me.

But with some of the world’s biggest companies like Meta and Microsoft heralding virtual reality social spaces as the future of how people will interact online, I knew I had to try. So I whacked on a VR headset to explore this fascinating community first-hand.

Exploring VRChat

The first thing you notice is how dominant anime is in these spaces.

Every player has an avatar, which is the body you occupy.

Two users pose for a photo. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

And while there are millions of different styles to choose from, pretty much everyone you see has an anime-style avatar.

I, on the other hand, explored the world as a walking cactus in a pair of red y-front underpants.

Me posing in my cactus avatar. I'm always hydrated. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

The encounters I had could be split into three categories - the heartfelt, the harassing and the horny.

Let’s start with the heartfelt

In most worlds you’ll encounter established friends hanging out together, talking and playing games like pool.

Most of the time these conversations sound exactly like any you might overhear at a bar, with people discussing their relationships and interests.

When I was in a world based on a cocktail bar, I saw a pair cuddled up in a corner discussing a friend who they felt was being distant and what they should do about it.

A group of friends hang out in a moody cave environment. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

I also met a group of friends blasting music and using the full body motion tracking on their VR headsets to dance together.

A user posing in front of the city backdrop of a high-rise apartment world. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

And in another space, I met a man from Norway. He told me he lives in a very isolated part of the country and fends off loneliness by spending almost his whole day in these VR chat rooms.

He said he even sleeps with his headset on most nights.

I also encountered a very large trans community on the platform.

On six separate occasions, people I talked to shared they were transgender within the first few seconds of meeting them.

It happened so frequently that I asked someone about this.

They said they liked to introduce themself as trans because, unlike the real world, they can proudly and confidently share that without fear of physical repercussions.

And VR allows them to present themselves in an avatar that more closely matches how they see themself, which is what drew them and other trans people to this world.

But they only tell people they’re trans when someone seems nice.

‘Look at this stupid, cactus-ass bitch’

Not everyone is nice.

Sadly, this is still part of the internet and there’s a hefty share of trolls and aggressors.

In many spaces, I encountered groups of people whose main purpose was harassing everyone else there.

And I didn’t get away unscathed.

As I walked by, a group yelled “look at this stupid, cactus-ass bitch”.

I also saw a group of people in large shirtless male avatars walking around aggressively asking people if they were looking for a fight - something that isn’t even possible on the platform.

A pretty impressive demon someone had drawn on the walls. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

But mostly, harassment on the platform was just people acting in socially confronting ways - getting right in my face yelling song lyrics or obnoxiously interrupting a group of people having a polite talk.

Mostly I ignored these people, and the one time I didn’t I quickly regretted it.

Someone dressed as Batman interrupted a conversation to ask if I would like to see them play piano.

A user dressed as Batman playing me a ditty on a functional piano. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

Obviously my curiosity was piqued, so I followed him to a room with a piano where he began to muddle his way through a tune.

Moments later, they transformed themselves into Spiderman yelling “now watch Spiderman play the piano with his dick”.

Horny as hell

There is an inescapable horniness on the internet and VRChat is no different.

The walls of many locations are plastered with scantily-clad anime figures.

And conversations with strangers frequently veer into discussions of sex or questions about your sex life.

In one world I entered, the first thing I saw was an avatar in the hallway miming masturbation.

A poster adorning the wall of one of the worlds. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

From the sound coming from his microphone, it was clear that while his avatar was simulating the act, the real-life person was not.

Quickly moving past them, I entered a room where a group of people were taking turns pretending to perform oral sex on each other.

To be fair, the world was called “Movies and Chill” so this might be on me.

The game has an R13 rating and avatars and worlds are mostly moderated to uphold this - with no full nudity, or worlds explicitly designed for sex.

However that can’t stop people within these worlds engaging in acts or conversations that are as sexual as possible.

Beware of danger

VRchat has received criticism for the situations it puts young users in.

Earlier in 2022, a BBC news researcher went undercover on VRChat, posing as a 13-year-old girl.

She entered a world presented as a strip club and witnessed grooming, racist insults and a rape threat.

In the UK, the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children’s head of online child safety policy Andy Burrows told the BBC the platform is “dangerous by design, because of oversight and neglect”.

VRChat responded to the BBC saying it was "working hard to make itself a safe and welcoming place for everyone”.

“Predatory and toxic behaviour has no place on the platform,” it said.

While the ability to be anonymous on the platform is a draw for many users, it can also make interactions in the game dangerous.

Sarah from Wellington has been using the platform for years.

She even met, fell in love and got engaged to a man from New York she met in VRChat.

But Sarah and her partner Chris urge players to be cautious when forming platonic or romantic relationships within the game.

“Virtual reality takes away a lot of things that allow you to judge who someone is and if they’re being honest,” Sarah says.

“And so people lie a lot.”

Chris says for some users anonymity is part of the fantasy and escape the platform provides.

But the danger of this, he says, is how it allows people to lie about their age and use that to get close to people much younger than them.

The Metaverse

While the virtual world might sound very niche, it might not be for too much longer.

Some of the world’s biggest tech companies are altering their business models with the expectation that services like VRChat will be the future of how we use the internet.

In October 2021, Facebook changed its name to Meta in reference to a concept called the Metaverse.

Two users sitting and chatting. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

The metaverse doesn’t have an exact definition, but essentially it’s a much larger version of VRChat - a future where you can travel and interact with the internet in a fully immersive way.

Take chat rooms.

In the 1990s and 2000s they were just text panels in a computer browser.

Now chat rooms can be spaces you can physically occupy, move around and interact with people as realistically as possible.

Imagine what Instagram, Twitter or Facebook might look like if they got the same treatment.

A group of friends hanging out on a balcony. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

With the growth in popularity of platforms like VRChat, Meta is doubling down on this as the future of technology and developing their own virtual chat room platform.

And other companies including Microsoft and Nvidia, and other game developers, are also exploring the potential of the metaverse.

The future of the internet?

In my time in VRChat, I could see opportunities of how the metaverse might make our time online more socially and intellectually stimulating.

It was nice to feel like I was genuinely and tangibly connecting with people online, rather than interacting with some text beside a profile picture.

But I can also see how it could make aspects of the internet even worse.

A user posing for a photo. Screenshot by Baz Macdonald

The internet can give people avenues to be mean and inappropriate, and this behaviour was even more confronting in virtual reality.

As awful as reading a nasty comment is, it’s better than having it screamed in your face.

And if this is our future, it is going to be a very complicated one.