It’s been a year since 23-year-old Jo last had sex.
She’s celibate by choice and she is one of two young women who sat down with Re: News to explain why they’re not interested in having sex.
“I went through a really difficult relationship, and I felt really low self-esteem in the immediate aftermath,” she says.
“To combat that, I decided on a whim that 2024 was going to be my year of celibacy, and I’ve kind of kept by that [into 2025].”
She says while there are times she has enjoyed sex, on the whole it’s not something she takes pleasure in or even thinks about all that much.
Jo sitting in her living room. Source: Re: News.
There’s a growing trend around the world of women choosing to deprioritise sex in their lives and looking to celibacy.
The 4B movement in Korea encourages women to reject sex, dating, marriage, and children to stand against the patriarchy, and it’s gained interest in the US after the re-election of US President Donald Trump.
Celebrities like actress Julia Fox are also speaking positively about being celibate.
Meanwhile, Youth19 data shows young New Zealanders have been having significantly less sexual activity over the last two decades.
Source: TikTok
Zoe, 24, is a celibate Christian woman who says she was raised with the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex.
But once she turned 18, she realised she didn’t want to have sex that often even after she got married.
“And then I sort of discovered, oh, I might be asexual,” Zoe says.
Asexuality is an umbrella term which describes people who feel little or no sexual attraction.
Zoe sitting on her bed. Source: Re: News.
Zoe feels there is a stigma around not having sex.
“Especially with high school age movies where it's a big deal to lose your virginity before you leave high school.
“[There are] big shows that revolve around sex and having as much of it as possible, that it's just sort of become a very normal thing.”
But Zoe says most of her friends are very understanding of her decision to be celibate, especially since a lot of them are asexual themselves.